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Konami Announces Three New Titles for the iPhone
Konami, one of the global leaders in video game entertainment, has announced that it will be unleashing three all-star caliber video games for the iPhone and iPod Touch. These three timeless classics that have mobile and video game critics moaning with orgasmic anticipation are Metal Gear Solid, Silent Hill and Frogger. Konami promises that all three games will make perfect use of Apple’s touch technology, which makes some people wonder if button bashing is such a healthy thing for the iPhone. It is certainly about time that we start to witness more and more sophisticated and modern gaming products, as opposed to the dozens of Tetris remakes that we have had to endure because some gaming companies foolishly believed that we were willing to travel back in time to the…
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Website Offers Video Tutorials for Cell Phones.
Tired of those horribly moronic and impractical manuals that seem to come standard with most mobile handsets? (Technical writing is a lost art.) The problem may very well be solved by a website called thehumanmanualonline.com. This website, with the annoyingly long name, is offering video tutorials to finally explain to us technically challenged individuals how to properly use our cell phones. Like all great services however, it is not free. Subscribers must pay five British Pounds per month in order to access the service. That price tag is rather cheap if one were to use the website on a regular basis, but is horribly expensive if all you are trying to do is find out how to use the USB Cable that came with your phone. While we at Funtonia applaud such a service, we…
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Sonim Technologies to release the XP3 Enduro
The Sonim XP3 Enduro is the latest handset in the successful line of rugged cell phones from Sonim Technologies. Aside from the usual invincibility that has become the trademark of Sonim phones; the XP3 Enduro is the first handset from this particular line that is waterproof. The XP3 Enduro can be immersed in up to a meter of water for thirty minutes. This is ideal for soldiers, campers and Michael Scofield, though not as useful for divers who would like to be able to text ‘Shark!’ or ‘I lost my oxygen tank’ while on their amphibious incursions. The XP3 Enduro can basically be run over by a tank and still function, though we wonder what would happen if Delta Burk were to step on one of these babies. While the XP3 does not possess some of the bells and whistles of…
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Telstra to Offer New Country Phone
Having had to endure the catastrophe of the reality show known as Outback Jack several years ago, I have ignorantly vowed to never set foot in the Australian wilderness. Australian carrier Telstra however, has taken the opposite approach by offering a new handset that is specifically designed for Aussie rednecks living in rural areas that are often a devastating nightmare when it comes to wireless service. Telstra is planning on releasing a phone called the 165i that is specifically designed to bring the luxuries of cellular technology to country bumpkins that have been forced to do without. The 165i comes with mobile television, email, internet and all the other goodies that have become standard in the mobile industry. Of course the buffoons running Telstra have…
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American Airlines Now Offering Mobile Boarding
Passengers of American Airlines, decaying souls that are used to nibbling at food that would not be considered sustenance by even the most hardiest of cockroaches, or long wait times that often requires one to shave again before the flight takes off, can now all sigh with satisfaction. American Airlines is now offering customers the option of foregoing the paper version of a boarding pass and allowing them to display a text message on their phone that acts as an equivalent. This new service actually benefits American Airlines in two ways: 1) It offers their customers a quick and convenient option when checking in at the airline counter and 2) It masks the incompetence of American Airlines in most flight related areas by giving off the illusion that the airline is…
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New Virus Haunting Windows Mobile
Windows Mobile is apparently the latest victim in a slew of malicious and shrewd attacks by computer hackers… or should we say cell phone hackers. It seems that a band of roguish rebels are unleashing a deadly cell phone virus in a two pronged attack. One is called the “companion technique”, which allows viruses to masquerade as clean executable files and the other is called “encryption”, which allows the sneaky virus to evade anti-virus programs with great efficiency. Jan Volzke from McAfee earned the right to wear the gullible hat this week with his absurd comment that hackers will still target PCs because thievery is their ultimate goal. Excuse me Jan? Have you lost your marbles? Rogers and Visa are currently working on a new service that will allow Roger’s…
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MySpace Now Available on the BlackBerry
MySpace, one of the world leaders in social internet media, is now offering their free service on BlackBerry handsets. Starting at midnight tonight, BlackBerry users will be able to post comments, play with their status and send and receive the all important MySpace mail. Kudos to MySpace for increasing their market availability with this new application and for freshening up their somewhat stale product. Social media is exploding on the mobile and it would be economic suicide not to take advantage of wireless media platform. However, as with MySpace, there is always the concern that social media and other applications are forcing their products onto cell phones without regard for how useable and feasible the current product is. While every company should attempt to…
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Gambling on your Mobile?
Several websites has jumped on the mobile gambling bandwagon with almost childish naivety. Unfounded promises of mobile gambling rocking the world have been uttered by these shameless mobile news services without a shred of logical reasoning. In order for mobile gambling to be popular in the wireless industry, there needs to be severe regulation in place. After all, it is partially illegal to gamble online in the United States, so why would mobile gaming be any different? Would it be legal in China? Maybe, but it would be government run and with the natives paying close to 80% of their gross wages on housing, there doesn’t seem to be too much room left in the budget for this devilish behavior. Also, cell phones users will always have the unchallenged cop out of ‘I had…
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Motorola out of Touch with Reality
The idiots over at Motorola have apparently slammed the hammer down on customers of the new Aura phone. Motorola has forbidden the sale of the Aura on eBay in the hopes of raising the luxury handset's exclusivity and affluence. This near sightedness is one of the reasons why Motorola is feeling the terror of the bankruptcy ghost at every turn. For one, this fascist policy is only going to alienate customers. Even if a potential customer has no desire to sell the Aura online, the mere mention that this is against company policy will only serve to alienate and disgruntle. In addition, how exactly are Motorola going to enforce this policy? A company that can’t afford to higher a cleaning staff is certainly not going to hire a crack team of internet police to harass…
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Gameloft and Marvel Entertainment Join Forces
After bitching and moaning like a cheap hooker over EA’s insulting lineup of mobile games along the likes of Tetris and Bejeweled, a glimmer of hope is promising to rectify the dismal outlook for mobile handset gaming. Gameloft has announced that it will be joining forces with Marvel Entertainment. (thats Marvel Comics for those of you over the age of 50) Marvel Entertainment and Gameloft are planning to release Spider-Man in 2009 and Iron Man in late 2009 or early 2010. In this video game lover’s opinion, Gameloft should be releasing 30 to 40 comic related titles each year. Obviously that is a bit of a stretch, however, the more quality games that exist on the market, the less room there will be for rehashed and remodeled video games that are better left in the…
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Jane 12/21/2011
"I just wanted to thank you guys for listening to the users!"
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